Feeling stuck in the cycle of binge eating can feel like a totally a miserable and helpless place to be. Despite your best efforts to feel in control around food, when you end up binge eating, it feels like you lack willpower and are somehow flawed.

Advice from all around seems to prescribe diets and meal plans aimed at tackling binge eating. When they inevitably don’t work for us, it can make us feel like we are defective and weak.

Unfortunately, when we feel stuck in the helplessness of the binge eating cycle, it affects our lives so many ways. Society tells us that we really need to “get our shit together” around food in order to be considered worthwhile and successful. When you’re stuck, you feel anything but solid and put together.

The clearest downside to continuing down this path include feeling sad, worthless, and depressed. It’s likely that you perceive others are judging you for being “weak.”   You might even withdraw socially or keep yourself cut off from family and friends when you can’t get your eating “under control.”

Not only is does living a life stuck in the cycle of binge eating keep us cut off from ourselves and others, we start to reflect these feelings of unworthiness in our everyday lives. The inability to feel at peace eating out with friends or even just sitting down at a table for dinner alone can weigh heavily your self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

Does this sound familiar?

It’s 10:00pm. You’re standing in front of the freezer staring at that pint of ice cream yet again. You were SO GOOD today. You ask yourself “How am I here again, reaching for this damn ice cream?” The next thing you know you’ve polished off that pint of mint chip.

For that fleeting moment, it might feel good. You might feel truly satisfied. The food numbs the feelings of sadness, of insecurity, or anxiety. It causes you to forget your fears and feel freedom.

Unfortunately, the soothing feeling passes all too quickly and you are left with whatever emotions were there, to begin with. The difference is now you feel like more of a failure than before for “giving in” again. The feeling of intense shame sets in. You resolve to “get back on the wagon.”

It doesn’t need to be this way

It’s true that living in this cycle of binging and restricting and feeling out of control around food can breed true misery. When you start to learn techniques to intervene before the binge begins, over time, you can eventually move towards lasting freedom with food.   If you can delve into why you’re getting stuck in this cycle, you can even start to find a new way of relating to food. Keep reading to learn some actionable steps you can take when you feel like binging

How to stop binge eating in its tracks

When that all-too-familiar urge arises, panic sets in. It often feels inevitable that you’ll end up elbow deep in that bag of chips. Lather, rinse, repeat. What if there was a way out? There are some simple strategies you can put in place to break out of this destructive habit.

1. Take a breather

At the moment, the urge to binge arises and it feels like the train has left the station. In my work as an eating disorder therapist, I like to remind clients that any moment you can take to step back, pause for a moment, and breathe deeply, it’s not only a moment longer the binge has been delayed, it’s an opportunity to gather valuable intel.

Try to remove yourself from the kitchen or wherever else you are feeling triggered to binge and change your environment. This might mean taking a step outside or sitting comfortably on the sofa.

2. Get present with yourself

Our urges are not who we are. Remind yourself that just because you feel triggered to do something, does not mean it is inevitable. Moreover, as an eating disorder and body image therapist, I’m always talking to my clients about self-compassion. It’s not going to be helpful to move into a place of shame at this moment.

Remind yourself that you probably feel like binging as a response to physical or emotional deprivation or due to an intense need to manage uncomfortable feelings.

This is a habit you developed over time and you deserve to have patience with your process of change. It can also be incredibly helpful to remind yourself in this moment of how you usually feel on the back end of a binge. Most people usually feel pretty crappy afterward. Unfortunately, this often turns right into perpetuating the cycle of restriction in an attempt to “punish” or compensate what happened.

3. Get a handle on restrictive patterns

The number one question to ask yourself when you feel like binging is “Am I hungry?” I’m talking about actual, physical hunger. Many times the answer to this question is “yes.” You’ve actually set yourself up to binge by simply not eating enough. So many of the clients I work with undereat throughout the day. The pathway to binge-land started long before you entered that kitchen at 10 pm. It began when you skipped breakfast, opted for that low carb lunch, or “portion controlled” dinner.

The first step in breaking out of this pattern of binge eating is by eating more adaquate and satisfying meals thoughout the whole day.

Our bodies are super smart: when we deprive them of food, the biological urge to eat will increase until we feel ravenous and end up binging.

If the answer to this question is yes, think about what the most satisfying nourishing, and an available meal would be at that moment and try to eat it without judgment. I work with my clients in helping them develop a regular practice of intuitive, attuned eating. Over time, this can eliminate these triggers to binge eat long before they start. The reality is that restriction and resulting hunger can come in different forms. {Any I will address this topic more deeply in a coming post}.

4. Dig deeper & find a better alternative

Remember the intel gathering I mentioned before? Here’s where that gets interesting. Try to ask yourself “what am I really trying to feel or not feel right now by binging?” People often find it helpful at this moment to keep a record of this in a journal or on their phones.

It’s time to develop your toolbox of go-to and in the moment coping skills. This looks totally different for everyone and can be a process of trial an error. Recall that feeling that you just noticed you were trying to attain (comfort, connection, etc.). Think about some other ways you could try to achieve that feeling, such as reaching out to a friend or turning on your favorite music.

Try these coping skills you came up with and see if they help. They won’t work every time and in every situation. In therapy, I often help clients examine what did or didn’t work about these coping skills. We come up with a long list of alternative ideas to try.

5. Create space, invite new possibilities

Many times people feel really stuck in these patterns of binge eating and letting go can feel scary. It can feel helpful to remind yourself that, just because you are trying to intervene to avoid binge eating right now, it doesn’t mean that you are saying goodbye to this behavior forever. It also doesn’t mean that you need to do things perfectly from here on out.

You are simply trying to do things differently this one time, at this one moment. Celebrate small victories.

6.  Seek professional support

Whether you struggle with an eating disorder or patterns of disordered eating, you deserve to live a life free of struggles with food and your body. It can be so difficult to achieve this alone. When you schedule a session with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders, you’ll be one step closer to recovery and be living the full life you desire.

I’ve helped so many people learn the skills to overcome binge eating. Full recovery is absolutely possible and you deserve to live a life filled with so much more. I can help you get there.  Give me a call now or click on the button below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation and find out how I can help.