For many women who’ve struggled with an eating disorder, the fear of infertility or difficulty conceiving a baby can be very real, yet incredibly difficult to speak about. If you’ve decided that you’re ready to get pregnant, a lot of excitement and anticipation likely went into this decision.

So if your efforts haven’t yet been successful, you might feel like your greatest fears have come true.  You probably want to know more about the connection between infertility and eating disorders.

If you’ve struggled to overcome an eating disorder you’re likely are familiar with the rollercoaster-like journey of striving to live with, accept, or even love your body. You might have even spent years trying to learn a new way to nourish and relate to your body. It might even be the case that the desire to start a family was a strong motivator in your eating disorder recovery process.

It’s so true that you are probably experiencing a mix of emotions right now ranging from fear, to shame, to grief. Your journey to get to this point might seem incredibly alone and vastly unfair. If this is where you now find yourself, gaining a better understanding about the possible link between infertility and eating disorders, and how to take the best care of yourself during this process, can be invaluable.

The connection between infertility and eating disorders

First, and perhaps most importantly, if you have been experiencing fertility issues, please know that you are absolutely not alone. Even though this topic often seems surrounded by secrecy and stigma, studies estimate that 1-in-8 couples experience infertility. Many women have been where you now stand.

While there isn’t a lot of conclusive research in this area, the majority of studies out there suggest a link between infertility and eating disorders.

Perhaps most compelling, in one study of women seeking fertility treatment, 1-in-5 met criteria for a past or current eating disorder.

The good news that up to 80% of women who recover from an eating disorder are able to go on to conceive.

Sadly, in the study I mentioned, none of those women had disclosed their past or current eating disorder diagnosis to their reproductive endocrinologist. Shame is the likely culprit in preventing women from disclosing this vital information to their care providers. Unfortunately, this omission keeps so many women from getting the most effective treatment and even further from the ultimate goal of conceiving a child.

Ensuring Your Recovery is Solid

Even if you consider your eating disorder a thing of the past, I recommend reconsidering if you might actually unknowingly be engaging in disordered behaviors. It’s actually incredibly common for women to continue to engage in subtle efforts to suppress their weight, under-eat, or over-exercise, even if they no longer meet criteria for an eating disorder.

One such cause of infertility to be aware of is Hypothalamic Amenorrhea (HA). This is found to be common in women with a past or present eating disorder and occurs when menstruation stops due to under-eating, low body-fat percentage, over-exercising, and psychological stress. HA is common in women who don’t actually meet criteria for an eating disorder diagnosis. (For more on this see Nicola Rinaldi’s excellent book: No Period, Now What.)

3 Keys to Managing Infertility After an Eating Disorder

No matter where you are at your efforts to coping with infertility after an eating disorder, there are a few things will help you:

#1 Using Self-compassion

Even if it’s been years since you starting your recovery from an eating disorder, it’s not uncommon to feel at fault for your difficulty to conceive. Merely accepting the fact that you feel in some way responsible can be challenging.

The reality is that just as you were not to blame for developing an eating disorder, your struggle with fertility is not your fault either.

If you now find yourself struggling with infertility, you might find yourself full of once familiar thoughts of being at odds with your body. You might battle intense feelings of shame and blame for what you are going through.

Self-compassion is of ultimate importance in both eating disorder recovery and infertility struggles. Using self-compassion directed exercises, I help my clients to ease their feelings of shame – to know and believe that experiencing difficulties conceiving or carrying a pregnancy to term does not mean something is “wrong” with you. It’s just as vital to learn to let go of the guilt that might be weighing you down.

#2 Being Mindful of Eating Disorder Triggers

The process of seeking fertility treatment can inadvertently bring up many of the same familiar themes that once drove your eating disorder to develop.

Like many women, you might find yourself looking for ways to fix or control what you perceive broken or defective in your body.

This can be a triggering time.

Often times, the treatments prescribed by fertility specialists include specific guidance around diet and exercise. If you’ve been living for years as a mindful and intuitive eater, this might feel foreign and uncomfortable. This is yet another reason why it’s so vitality important to be open with your care providers about your history of an eating disorder.

Desperation to find fertility solutions can also lead many women to seek out alternative medicine providers who advocate extreme dietary regimens and elimination of foods or entire food groups. Not only are such methods of dubious efficacy, but they can also absolutely be contraindicated and harmful if you have an eating disorder history.

It might not be readily apparent to your care providers that these recommendations can be potentially problematic. It’s probably not easy to even acknowledge to yourself how you might be triggered, but it’s so important to learn to advocate for yourself during this process. You’ll need to let doctors and other specialists know if recommendations are causing you stress or leading you into dangerous territory. 

#3 You Deserve Support

In order to get through this process, one of the best things you can do is to surround yourself with the best support. Your support circle probably includes your spouse and a circle of close friends that you truly trust.

Fertility treatment can leave you feeling very isolated. You might find that a fertility support group will really help you to feel less alone. By building a support network, you’ll have people around who can help you carry the weight of all the stress you are under, distract you, and try to cheer you up.

Lastly, professional support from a therapist can be an essential part of weathering this storm.

Therapy can help you to process and hopefully overcome feelings of guilt or shame, also to be proactive in managing any eating disorder triggers that may arise.

As a therapist who specializes in treating eating disorders and who also has a unique background in both infertility and maternal mental health, I’ve helped many women through this process. As an eating disorder and body image therapist for nearly a decade, I work with clients at my office in Agoura Hills, CA and provide online therapy in California and New York. To learn how I can help you, give me a call now or click on the button below to get in touch to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation.