When there’s so much to worry about as a parent these days, raising kids to have healthy body image can seem like such an important, yet tricky task. A lot of moms worry that their kids’ body image is just another thing that they are probably somehow “messing up.” It’s not something that a lot of women even tend to talk about openly.

When it comes to your kids’ body image, it can sometimes seem like there are so many factors influencing your child – from social media to well-meaning family members, to TV and movies – that maybe its impossible to really have any influence over your child’s body image. Unfortunately, getting into this mindset can feel pretty helpless.

If you’re like me, maybe you cringed when you notice “fat talk” in even the pre-school age-appropriate cartoons. I used to love watching Peppa Pig with my little one until I noticed how they talk about Daddy Pig and criticize his weight (honestly – it’s in every episode!). It’s so upsetting and so unnecessary. These messages seem so wildly pervasive.

Maybe you’re wondering how you can possibly shield your kids from this kind of messaging. After all, kids are like sponges, right?

Is the answer shutting off all connection to popular media? But that just seems totally unrealistic, doesn’t it?

This left me feeling somewhat hopeless and sad. This parenting stuff is hard! And why didn’t anyone warn me about this? Truly we are all just doing our best.

But then I realized that even though there’s so much out there that’s out of my control, it’s my job and my opportunity as a parent to model for my kids how to react when we see things like fat-shaming. Even with the stimulus-rich world around them, there’s a lot that we can do to help shape their little brains and aid them in developing a positive body image.

To some extent, a lot of these things influencing your child really are out of your control. However, if we can learn some simple ways for helping our children to feel good about their bodies, we can feel far more confident in this parenting journey. Moreover, when we start paying attention to how we model our own relationships with food and our bodies, we are doing our part to raise kids with a positive body image.

Read on to learn how you can feel more assured that you are working to instill a good body image in your own kids.

4 Steps for Raising Kids to Have a Healthy Body Image

Yes, it can feel super overwhelming to help your kids feel good about their bodies, but trying your best (and it won’t go perfectly every time!) to follow some simple guidelines, can make you feel a whole lot more confident day in and day out. 

 #1 Model Body Kindness & Respect (and Work on Your Own Body Image Struggles)

So much of our what shapes the way our kids relate to their bodies comes from how they see us treating and talking about our own bodies. Please understand that this is not to shame anyone!  If you’ve noticed that any of these habits describe your own, there’s plenty of time to shift your outlook and approach.

Start considering how you want your kids to treat their own bodies and apply those guidelines to yourself. For example, pay attention to the language you use on a daily basis. If you’ve noticed you talk about “feeling fat”, your diet rules, or other body-critical language, make an effort to curtail that.

Definitely pay attention to what you say when you are directly in front of your kids. However, you’ll probably find that trying to shift your language 100% of the time –whether you are alone or with friends – will make it so much easier to do when you are with them.  This will also have the added bonus of helping improve your own body image.

Another way to focus on this is by being purposeful in treating yourself with respect and engaging in compassionate self-care. You can do this by simple acts of paying attention to getting enough nourishment, rest, and exercise. It means allowing yourself to not become obsessed with the restrictive diets or rigid exercise schedules that are really rooted in punishing, rather than honoring your body.

#2 Mind How You Speak About Others

A lot of times this “fat talk” extends beyond how you talk about yourself when you look in the mirror, to the judgmental language you use to describe others. We are probably all guilty of occasionally making critical comments about other’s appearance. Unfortunately, our kids notice this. If you find yourself speaking negatively about someone’s looks, catch yourself and try to redirect to a more positive frame.

You can also teach your kids to value and appreciate body diversity by showing them that what is considered “beautiful,” comes in all different shapes and sizes.

Mainstream media typically celebrates only one beauty ideal, but you can expose your children to books and art that show a wide variety of body sizes.

Moreover, when you are able to actively compliment someone on their kindness, work ethic, or another such trait, you are sending the message that our value as people doesn’t lie in our physical appearance. This is such a valuable lesson for your kids to learn that will go along way in helping them to develop healthy body image.

#3 Emphasize “big picture” ideas about health

The reality is that we really have no idea just by looking at someone what the state of their health is. You can work to instill this message in your kids through both the way you talk about your own health and there’s, and also through the way you speak about others. Be mindful not to call someone unhealthy or make other assumptions about another person based on their body size.

This message that health is not directly connected to one’s weight, goes ties directed back to that self-compassion piece we talked about earlier.

Show your kids that it’s possible to take care of yourself in a holistic way, that values both your physical and mental health.

You can do this by modeling good self-care habits that mindfully honor what you really need.

#4 Encourage Freedom With Food

As you’re probably well-aware, our relationship with food ties directly in with how we feel about our bodies.  Many of us enter motherhood with many years behind us of feeling critical about our bodies and perhaps even chronic dieting or disordered eating.  Few of us are immune to the messaging from diet culture. 

But maybe you have realized, like many women, that you want to try to do your best for things to turn out differently for your kids?  You can do this by working on not only your own Intuitive Eating (an excellent book and workbook by Tribole & Resch), but also by learning about a great method of child feeding called Division of Responsibility or DOR – written about by Ellyn Satter. 

The basics of this food freedom approach emphasize a philosophy where all foods have their place in a healthy diet and we eliminate labels such as “good” or “bad” when describing food.  It also includes being mindful of asking kids to do things like “clean their plate” in an effort help preserve their own innate sense of hunger and satiety.  

Raising kids to have healthy relationships with their bodies can feel pretty daunting, especially if you’ve struggled with your own.  However, there are some things that we can do as parents to start to shape the way our kids feel about their bodies.  In the process, we can also work to heal from our own struggles, allowing us to be the strongest role models possible.  As an eating disorder and body image therapist (and a mom of two littles), I can help. Give me a call now or click on the button below to get in touch to schedule your free 15-minute consultation.